Father Parker, as we are introduced to him during his first robbery of the movie, is quite a devout criminal… with principles.

“Don’t steal from people that can’t afford it,” Parker tells us. “Don’t hurt people that don’t deserve it. …Most importantly, if you say you will do something and you don’t, I will make sure you regret it.”

What seems like a heavy-handed spin of the good-bad guy theme that’s popular in cult action films these days only get’s more ridiculous when Parker dawns a white ten-gallon cowboy hat and chases down the thugs that left him for dead to steal back what was…

Hey look, it’s another “Renner has a Boom Stick” film.

This one is a twist on a familiar fairytale, but for the most part you won’t recognize it. At first you might recognize elements of the original fairytale, with a few minor differences. But that’s just used as a backstory for the real tale of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.

While this story is squarely placed in the magical world of fantasy, it bears little resemblance to recent, highly rated fantasy films such as popular Marvel titles Thor, Captain America, The Avengers and the like. Or perhaps a more apt comparison would be to…

It’s a question that immediately sprang to the minds of fans of two franchises with Thursday’s news that J.J. Abrams will direct “Star Wars: Episode VII.”

What happens to “Star Trek”?

According to Paramount Vice Chairman Rob Moore, Abrams — who directed both 2009′s “Star Trek” and the upcoming sequel “Star Trek Into Darkness” — will still be involved in some capacity with a possible third “Trek” movie, at the minimum as a producer, if not also directing the film.

Moore also pointed out that Abrams will continue to play a role in another of the studio’s most valuable franchises,…

Rory Jansen (played by Bradley Cooper) is a writer who has it all: a loving wife (played by Zoe Saldana), critical acclaim by the bucket-loads, and a best-selling novel.

Problem is, he didn’t write it.

Now, in the aftermath of his success, the young author’s theft returns to haunt him. Secrets he thought were safe come to light. “There’s more than one way to take a life,” we’re told, and the truth of that statement hits Rory like a freight train. His sin has found him out.

An Underwhelming Acheivement

If you’re intrigued by this story, I don’t blame you. It intrigued me, too. The…

The general moviegoing audience pays a great deal of respect to the The Oscars and what it determines deserves adulation for a year’s films. I agree that the Academy is noteworthy, but it’s far from a perfect judgment. In fact, there are no perfect award ceremonies. Moviemakers that judge for The Oscars and others like them reflect a great deal of skewing biases. They are greatly subjective.

But, if you overview the top three (or so) award ceremonies together (the Oscars, SAGA, and the Golden Globes) then you have a better representation of films’ and their makers’ credibility. More…

“Movie 43″ is a debacle of the highest order, featuring four total laughs and two decent sketches amongst its entire 85-minute runtime. Looking at the fractions of 4/85 and then factoring in the two decent bits sprinkled in during 15 total shorts, one could come to the conclusion that this was a tax write-off scheme. There’s simply no way they should have spent more than $30 bucks making this, it didn’t have any writing! Or jokes! Or acting! Watching it, you can’t help but channel Colonel Jessep from “A Few Good Men” a la “Please tell me there’s more, please tell me you haven’t pinned your…

We’re back at it again. The weekend is here and it’s a great time to get out and see a film or two before the real world set in again on Monday. So what’s out there for you to see? Let’s find out shall we?

New Films

Hansel and Gretel (R)
I’ll be seeing this film this weekend, but you should definitely be warned that it will be bloody and violent. To demonstrate such, I posted the red band trailer not too long ago so you could be aware. But in many ways it looks like it might be fun. But I also think there’s an equal chance it will be awful. I’m leaning toward fun, Joe is leaning toward…

I am a card carrying fan of both the original Star Wars trilogy, and Star Trek in general. And I am fairly nerdy about both. But when push comes to shove, I’ll take Star Trek over Star Wars for the most part. Yes, The Empire Strikes Back is a better film than some of the lesser Star Trek films, but I’m generalizing here.

The larger point is that I love both franchises, in different ways, but I love them both. And as a member of both “fan clubs” something strange, and earth-shattering has taken place as of yesterday that I have no way to process — it’s kind of mind blowing.

Rules

Up…

There’s nothing especially awesome here to scream about, but for what it’s worth, The Last Stand carries on a mild amount of amusement for undemanding Schwarzenegger fans.

People that watch Arnold Schwarzenegger movies probably don’t bother to read movie reviews. That said, I’ve watched several films of Arnold’s, and here I am reading and writing reviews all the time. With that in mind, I’ll imagine that Arnold’s fans are the good folks reading this review, and I’ll let them know how this film compares to his others.

First, note that Arnold is getting up in years, and The Last Stand…