Hey look, it’s another “Renner has a Boom Stick” film.

This one is a twist on a familiar fairytale, but for the most part you won’t recognize it. At first you might recognize elements of the original fairytale, with a few minor differences. But that’s just used as a backstory for the real tale of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.

While this story is squarely placed in the magical world of fantasy, it bears little resemblance to recent, highly rated fantasy films such as popular Marvel titles Thor, Captain America, The Avengers and the like. Or perhaps a more apt comparison would be to…

Rory Jansen (played by Bradley Cooper) is a writer who has it all: a loving wife (played by Zoe Saldana), critical acclaim by the bucket-loads, and a best-selling novel.

Problem is, he didn’t write it.

Now, in the aftermath of his success, the young author’s theft returns to haunt him. Secrets he thought were safe come to light. “There’s more than one way to take a life,” we’re told, and the truth of that statement hits Rory like a freight train. His sin has found him out.

An Underwhelming Acheivement

If you’re intrigued by this story, I don’t blame you. It intrigued me, too. The…

There’s nothing especially awesome here to scream about, but for what it’s worth, The Last Stand carries on a mild amount of amusement for undemanding Schwarzenegger fans.

People that watch Arnold Schwarzenegger movies probably don’t bother to read movie reviews. That said, I’ve watched several films of Arnold’s, and here I am reading and writing reviews all the time. With that in mind, I’ll imagine that Arnold’s fans are the good folks reading this review, and I’ll let them know how this film compares to his others.

First, note that Arnold is getting up in years, and The Last Stand…

Broken City’s thinly sketched, formulaic script offers meager rewards for all but the least demanding noir aficionados.—RT

Have you ever wanted to watch a modern detective story set in New York starring some great actors? So have I, but Broken City isn’t that film we dream of. I went into the movie theater hopeful, and came away yawning, and asking myself, “Why? What were they thinking?”

Broken City is based on a spec script and is the directorial debut for Allen Hughes by an untested production company.¹ With that in mind, it’s no wonder that Broken City doesn’t meet the mark.

Why…

“I’m not an educated man, but I have wits in history. Every kingdom comes of blood, every castle’s built on a pile of bones. When I came out here, L.A. was nothin’. Back east I was a gangster… out here, I’m god.”

Gangster Squad is the best film I’ve seen this year. Of course, the year is young so that’s not saying a lot. Still, it’s a fine film in my book.

There are those who would disagree with me. In fact, as of right now on Rotten Tomatoes, the Tomatometer is at a measly 33%. And only 66% from the audience. That’s not exactly killing it.

Roger Ebert was not overly fond of the…

“Gangster Squad” is less a movie than a costume party run amok. Set in a late-’40s Los Angeles painted in cartoon colors rather than noir shadows, it is a hectic jumble of fedoras and zoot suits, stockings and cigarettes, and red femme-fatale dresses. The accessories of choice are guns of various calibers and styles, deployed to drown out — or perhaps to emphasize — knucklehead dialogue and inept storytelling.

This is post one of two on this subject. This is the review, and I have another linked list item coming up about this review.

And yeah, the entire review reads pretty much like…

The earnest and well-intentioned Promised Land sports a likable cast, but it also suffers from oversimplified characterizations and a frustrating final act. —RT

Boy, you said it, Rotten Tomatoes.

Matt Damon and John Krasinski are the reasons why anyone went to see the movie, let’s be honest. From the get-go, Promised Land looked like a town hall meeting turned into a movie. It’s a hard sell to audiences, but one that Hollywood couldn’t resist attempting.

As we all know, politics is something people in Hollywood feel strongly about. Director Gus Van Sant is no exception. Promised…