This is the Box Office Doldrums people. There’s not a lot to see, and the one film I thought might be worth seeing is total garbage. Let’s see if we can figure out something for you to see this weekend.

New in Theaters

Beautiful Creatures - PG-13
I could see this one going either way. I don’t know when I will get a chance to watch it, but I will try to do so before next weekend so I can give a report.

A supernatural love story set in the South which tells the tale of two star-crossed lovers: Ethan, a young man longing to escape his small town, and Lena, a mysterious new girl.…

Speaking of how bad A Good Day to Die Hard is, this would make a far better Die Hard film than A Good Day to Die Hard. And seriously, it may be parody, but I swear sometimes during this thing that Ben Stiller is John McClane! Let’s set up a Kickstarter to make this into a movie, what do you say?

Be prepared to laugh!

Remember Hans Gruber, Simon Gruber, Col, Stuart, and even Thomas Gabriel as the baddies in the previous four Die Hard Films? Well don’t go looking for the likes of them here because you will be disappointed. Also remember how John McClane was a blunt but intelligent weapon of the law, and how he cared what happened to the people around him? That’s gone from this film too.

Oh, and remember how the plots of the previous films made sense, simple though the plots were? Well don’t expect everything to make sense this time out, because it’s not going to.

A lot of elements just didn’t add up…

As J.J. Abrams and company endeavor to keep the lid tightly sealed on whatever they’re cooking up for “Star Wars: Episode VII,” reading between the lines of reports over the past few months, it is starting to emerge that the lineage to the first trilogy of films will be pretty direct. Particularly is this bit of info turns out to be true.

Latino Review is reporting that Harrison Ford is set to return as Han Solo in “Star Wars: Episode VII.” Whether it’s just a cameo or something more something they don’t know just yet, but according to their sources, it’s a done deal. Naturally,…

1. A Good Day to Die Hard – $47 million

Five years after Live Free or Die Hard scored $134.5 million, Bruce Willis is back as John McClane in a fifth installment in the enduring action franchise — this time with random Cold War overtones! After a slew of weak performances from movies like Parker and The Last Stand(it’s been a tough winter for Expendables stars), A Good Day to Die Hard is poised to become the first outright action hit of the year. Fox is releasing the film, which was made on a $92 million budget, into 3,553 theaters, and between Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, and Fox’s…

The title on YouTube says this is trailer #3, but I’ve only seen, and can only find one other trailer so I don’t know what they mean by that. But in any event it’s a new trailer and I’m cautiously optimistic about this film.

Synposis:

What if everything you love was taken from you in the blink of an eye? “The Host” is the next epic love story from the creator of the “Twilight Saga,” worldwide bestselling author, Stephenie Meyer. When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie Stryder (Saoirse Ronan) will risk everything to protect…

After The MovieByte Podcast #31

TJ and Joe kick off this exciting podcast to talk about Tennessee Spring Water! No really, it does come up. Then they get to the real episode. Up first is talk of ‘Portal’ and ‘Half-Life’ films in development by J.J. Abrams, plus TJ is flabbergasted that Joe has never played ‘Portal’ before. Seriously, it’s very uncool. Then they touch on the passing of the revered ‘Star Wars’ makeup artist, Stuart Freeborn, whose contributions to the ‘Star Wars’ universe will long be remembered. Then TJ geeks out a bit about ‘The Best of Both Worlds’ (Star Trek TNG) coming to Blu-Ray as a stand alone film/episode. Plus there’s a new ‘Oblivion’ trailer! TJ is excited about it, Joe not so much. And then last for the general talk in this episode, TJ touches on his review of ‘Identity Thief’. Spoiler: it was not a good film. And for the meat and potatoes of this episode, Joe waxes on about ‘Hook’ which TJ only found to be a kind of decent film, but it was a mainstay for Joe. Tune in to hear the debate!

How did the Galactic Empire ever cement its hold on the Star Wars Universe? The war machine built by Emperor Palpatine and run by Darth Vader is a spectacularly bad fighting force, as evidenced by all of the pieces of Death Star littering space. But of all the Empire’s failures, none is a more spectacular military fiasco than the Battle of Hoth at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back.

This is such a fun read! I’ve always said that the Empire was extremely bad at fighting. I always justified it by saying they had grown lazy as the renitence dwindled.